Like tears from the sky

It is a rainy Sunday afternoon and the power is out (you never know when there will be power here). The children are resting in their cottages. I am sitting in my cottage drinking Ugandan tea, listening to avocados thump against the roof (!) and looking out at branches dancing in the wind and rain. This morning I rode to church with some of the girls in a taxi- a blue and white checked van that can “fit 12” but normally carries more. The trip takes about 45 minutes one way. On the way back as the van sloshed through rivers of water and red mud, I contemplated life here as I observed people huddling under trees, buildings and whatever shelter they could find from the fat raindrops falling like tears from the sky.

As much as I love it here, it is also very hard. Although I do wake up every morning so happy to be here, some mornings I wake up and feel like crying. There are many reasons: Little Timo who cries over everything and you wonder what has happened in his young life to make him so sensitive. People who are dirt poor and literally have nothing, living next to some that have more than they could ever need, mostly due to corruption and bribery. Little children being taken on their way to school to be used as sacrifices. Sitting in on a social studies lesson where 1^st graders are taught, out of necessity, things that are so much more explicit than anything we would ever tell a 6 year old in America. Listening to children's answers as to how they should protect themselves from “bad people.” Seeing little kids playing naked outside their homes, which is cute, but at the same time heart breaking because many of them have nothing more than rags to wear. Knowing that many families can't even afford a simple barrel to collect rain, so young children and girls have to carry heavy “Jerry cans” long distances filled with water that probably isn't even very clean. It is a place where the idea of a nuclear family is basically unheard of. A place where reading a book is considered the ultimate laziness and you might as well be doing nothing. A place where going to the gym to get exercise and “burn off calories” is absurd because most of these people are working themselves to the bone just trying to get enough calories to survive.

As I see and experience and think about all of this it breaks my heart. Yes, it breaks my heart because it's a sad situation and there are many hurting people. But so many of these people are gracious, welcoming, friendly and generous with what little they have. So it also breaks my heart because of how backwards and twisted we seem to have it in America. We seem to think so often that life is all about our comforts and our “needs.” That it's about how we look and what we wear, what kind of car we drive and how big our house is, what kind of job we have and whether is has good benefits or not. So many of the things that seem important are unheard of here where people don't even have food or clothes, let alone a fancy house or car and they definitely don't have jobs with “benefits.” I may have joked about being a “poor college student” at times, yet I have a closet filled with clothes and shoes...and somehow in my sin filled heart I can still covet and want more. It's kind of sickening. Being here really does change your perspective.

I know that sin and selfishness is everywhere in the world,and that there are great needs in America as well, but it just seems as if so many Americans have too much time, too much money and too many comforts. We can be so self-centered and egotistical. It seems as if there is this mindset that we can come over and “help these 'poor' people” when really, I think we are the ones who need help. I think there is a lot we can learn from these people who have so much joy not based on materialism. I pray for these people here, but I also pray for us. I pray that we don't become blinded by the deceitfulness of wealth. That we don't forget what's truly important and that we can turn aside from trivial pursuits. I could be wrong on this, but I believe this is one of the reasons why Jesus calls us to go out and to take care of widows and orphans...because we are just as needy as the people we go to, maybe even more so just in different ways.I think maybe he wants us to see that so that His Kingdom and will is furthered in our own lives as well as the places we go.

"Teacher, Teacher"

I have been in this beautiful country for a whole week now- almost hard to believe! I don't know if I can even begin to describe how much I love it here. It seems as if every day just gets better and better. Almost every morning I wake up and think, “Wow, I'm actually in Africa. Thank you God!!”

It is very different from what I imagined (the school I'm working at is extremely rigid and strict...I have a hard time being so firm with these adorable children!) But I trust that this is right where God wants me and that he has a plan bigger and better than my own.

I spend my mornings in pre-primary (4's and Kindergarten) and the afternoon in primary school, mostly in P1 (1^st grade). I absolutely adore these children. They are precious and just warm your heart. The other day we were reading a Bible story about people going to see Jesus. Little Peter piped up and said, “I want to see Jesus.” SO precious! When I am in the school the students call me Teacher. I love the sound of their high sing-songy voices calling “teacher, teacher” when they want to tell me something or get my attention to show me something. I love the smiles that light up their face when you look at their work and say, “good job!” Outside the school many of them call me aunty. They will call out, “Hello Aunty Chelsea.” To which I reply “Hello! How are you?” And they will sing back, “I am fine. How are you?”

Yesterday I was with the 4 year olds helping a little boy tie his shoe when he reached out and felt my hair, running his little brown fingers through my smooth blonde hair as I bent over his shoes. When I finished and looked up his eyes were big with wonder. I smiled and said, “it feels different doesn't it?” Then I reached out and felt his short dark hair which made him laugh. I love their laughs, their big bright smiles, their beautiful voices, their precious little hands holding mine. It's hard to even explain, but they fill your heart with joy and break it at the same time.

In the evening I eat dinner with a family (at Rafiki they take in orphans then put them in a cottage with other children their gender/age and an African mamma so that they have a family). After dinner I go and read to the kids before bed. I brought some Alaska picture books with me to show them. It is so much fun to show them pictures and tell them stories about snow, bears, moose, the Northern Lights and the ocean. I love sharing these things from my world with them as I experience theirs. After seeing a picture of a moose one little boy looked shocked and said, “they have very bad horns!”

I feel as if every single day I am learning, experiencing or seeing something new. Today some of the girls showed me how to weave using palm fronds...they are so good at it and I am so bad! But it was fun to sit and learn and talk with them. When it started thundering I headed back to my cottage. Along the way I stopped to talk to a family (IF I had favorites, these boys and their mamma would be it!). They looked at my weaving and started telling me about their garden when Mamma Florence said, “But Aunty, you should hurry. You can't beat the rain.” I started running but she was right. It rains harder and faster here than I have ever seen in my entire life! By the time I got back to my cottage about 2 minutes later I was already soaked. I am amazed at how warm and sunny it can be one minute and literally a minute later the sky is dumping down buckets of water. But now the rain has stopped and the laughing voices of children playing beckon me back outdoors to enjoy every moment I have in this beautiful country with these beautiful people.

Jet Laaaaag....

I am incredibly jet lagged, but I am here and so happy to be here. My trip over was extremely long (48+ hours, not including the time change) but actually surprisingly good. I ended up having a row to myself for most/some of my 14 hour flight from Seattle to Dubai which made it so much better. I laid down for a little bit and tried to sleep until a little elderly Indian lady came and asked if she could sit with me. I have to admit that at first the selfish part of me didn't really want to share my “luxury row” but when I saw where she was sitting, in the middle with a crying child on one side, I was happy that I could share with her and glad she was able to sleep. The airline had given us these little toiletry kits at the beginning of the flight and at one point I look over and she's going through mine asking if she can use the stuff in it...I just laughed and said sure... why not?! She then proceeds to lay down in the middle seat with her head pretty much in my lap. I didn't really know what to do so I asked her if she would like a pillow. All in all, I have to admit the whole situation was a little awkward, but it makes me laugh thinking about it now.

After a 14 ½ hour layover in Dubai I got on a plane to Entebbe, Uganda. It was a couple hour drive from the airport to the Rafiki Village where I am staying. I wish I could describe the African driving. Never again will I think the structured driving in America where people mostly follow the rules is crazy. There is no such thing as “lane lines” here, well at least not by American driving standards. The pot hole filled, rutted clay roads just kind of swarm with cars, trucks, bikes, bodas, people and animals. There is constant honking as people go where they want. If someone wants to get in front of you they will just pull up and start pulling in front of you, then they will stick their hand out the window and motion for you to slow down. If my mother thinks the roundabouts in Anchorage are crazy, then she should never drive in Uganda! It all seems chaotic and crazy but I love it. The whole way exhaustion kept forcing my eyelids shut but wonder and excitement kept popping them back open. I couldn't help but want to take it all in. There are lots of soldiers and police with huge guns, which in a way I find comforting. The people are friendly and welcoming. The air is warm and humid. Lush green trees make a sharp contrast with the red clay dirt. I suppose there are parts and things that are dirty, smelly and chaotic compared to sanitized America, but it's beautiful and wonderful and I don't think you can help but fall in love with it here. I am exhausted but I am so happy to be here and can't wait to see what lies ahead. :)

Blessed

I am overwhelmingly and abundantly blessed. I am in awe of how God provides and amazed at how he cares about the details of our lives. John 1:16 says, "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." I feel like this has been so true in my life. I have the most wonderful and amazing family that has filled me up full to the brim with love...then loved me enough to let me go so that I can pursue the call I feel God has placed on my heart: to share this love with others in Africa. I have the most amazing church, family and friends who have loved me, supported me and encouraged me as I prepare to leave.

I feel as if God just continues to pour out blessing after blessing in my life. It leaves me humbled, overwhelmed and amazed because I know there is nothing I have done to deserve this. First of all he called me to this amazing opportunity to go to Africa (which I have dreamed of for years), then I was able to watch as he orchestrated details that were completely out of my own control, and now he has shown his provision in amazing ways. I still feel as if I am in shock and awe over today as I write this! This morning my home church, Glacierview Bible Church, blessed me with prayers and a send-off during the service. After the service people overwhelmed me with generosity and gave me money for my trip...at the end of the day I had been given exactly TO THE DOLLAR what I still owe Visiting Orphans (and it was even an unusual random amount of money!). This was such a wonderful reminder and confirmation that God cares about these things and that this is where he wants me this summer. I don't even understand it all, and while I'm on this earth I probably never will, but I do know that God is good. Some days it may not feel like it and there are days that I do not seem to see it, but on days like today I feel as if God pulls back a curtain and allows me to catch a glimpse of how good he is and how great his love is for us. I am extremely grateful and couldn't have asked for better people surrounding me in life.

I go

It is so crazy to think that in two Sundays I will be IN AFRICA! It almost boggles my mind to think about, seriously! It’s amazing to think back months ago to when I was planning and buying my ticket…and now it’s almost here. WOW. This morning I was very blessed. FCC had a send-off for Emily, Justin and I. It is very encouraging to go knowing that I am backed by so much prayer and such a supportive family. 

Many people have asked me why I am going to Africa this summer. The “simple” and “obvious” reason is that I am going to Africa to work in a village, tutor students and love on/play with orphans. And yes, I am going for those reasons. I am incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and adventure set out before me. Yet as I sat in church today I realized that the reasons I am going are so much deeper than that. 

I am going to Africa because I have the amazing opportunity to serve my Lord through loving his people in Africa. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” I want to do more than just read those words, I want to live them. Even though sometimes I’m slightly terrified at the thought, I am so incredibly blessed and overwhelmed that God has called me do this and given me this amazing opportunity. 

I feel like I do so many things for myself, for my own comfort and happiness. And quite honestly, I’m tired of it. I guess I see this as an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and do something for others and for God. I know that I can and should and will serve him right here, in Anchorage, AK. Yet, there’s this part of me that longs for more and feels like I can do more than what I’ve been doing. I go because I want to obey. I guess I also partly go out of selfish reasons. I go because I want to be changed. I want to be touched and blessed by these people. I go because I want to step deeper into the Abundant Life that God offers to us like we heard about in church today. I don’t want to live a shallow life. I don’t want to settle for a life wrapped up in my own comfort and happiness, which is so much easier said than done. I don’t want to simply read God’s word and go to church, hearing the Word and thinking “wow, that was touching and/or motivating” then walk away and not do anything about it (which sadly I feel Christians do so often…I know I do). I go because I want to LIVE the Word of God. I go because Jesus is my Savior, he is worthy and because of that He deserves my ALL and this is where I feel he is calling me. I go because this is my passion and my gift and I want to use it for the Lord. I want to see and experience faith in a way I’ve never experienced before. Even though there are times that the “American Dream” sure sounds nice (who wouldn’t want a big house, nice car, great job with benefits, etc…and I don’t necessarily think those things are wrong in and of themselves) but I want to be changed in a way that makes it impossible for me to ignore God’s commands, impossible to ignore God’s hurting children, and impossible to live a life solely for my own comforts. I know there’s more to life than that, and I want more. And so despite the insecurities and fears and unknowns, I go.