Like tears from the sky

It is a rainy Sunday afternoon and the power is out (you never know when there will be power here). The children are resting in their cottages. I am sitting in my cottage drinking Ugandan tea, listening to avocados thump against the roof (!) and looking out at branches dancing in the wind and rain. This morning I rode to church with some of the girls in a taxi- a blue and white checked van that can “fit 12” but normally carries more. The trip takes about 45 minutes one way. On the way back as the van sloshed through rivers of water and red mud, I contemplated life here as I observed people huddling under trees, buildings and whatever shelter they could find from the fat raindrops falling like tears from the sky.

As much as I love it here, it is also very hard. Although I do wake up every morning so happy to be here, some mornings I wake up and feel like crying. There are many reasons: Little Timo who cries over everything and you wonder what has happened in his young life to make him so sensitive. People who are dirt poor and literally have nothing, living next to some that have more than they could ever need, mostly due to corruption and bribery. Little children being taken on their way to school to be used as sacrifices. Sitting in on a social studies lesson where 1^st graders are taught, out of necessity, things that are so much more explicit than anything we would ever tell a 6 year old in America. Listening to children's answers as to how they should protect themselves from “bad people.” Seeing little kids playing naked outside their homes, which is cute, but at the same time heart breaking because many of them have nothing more than rags to wear. Knowing that many families can't even afford a simple barrel to collect rain, so young children and girls have to carry heavy “Jerry cans” long distances filled with water that probably isn't even very clean. It is a place where the idea of a nuclear family is basically unheard of. A place where reading a book is considered the ultimate laziness and you might as well be doing nothing. A place where going to the gym to get exercise and “burn off calories” is absurd because most of these people are working themselves to the bone just trying to get enough calories to survive.

As I see and experience and think about all of this it breaks my heart. Yes, it breaks my heart because it's a sad situation and there are many hurting people. But so many of these people are gracious, welcoming, friendly and generous with what little they have. So it also breaks my heart because of how backwards and twisted we seem to have it in America. We seem to think so often that life is all about our comforts and our “needs.” That it's about how we look and what we wear, what kind of car we drive and how big our house is, what kind of job we have and whether is has good benefits or not. So many of the things that seem important are unheard of here where people don't even have food or clothes, let alone a fancy house or car and they definitely don't have jobs with “benefits.” I may have joked about being a “poor college student” at times, yet I have a closet filled with clothes and shoes...and somehow in my sin filled heart I can still covet and want more. It's kind of sickening. Being here really does change your perspective.

I know that sin and selfishness is everywhere in the world,and that there are great needs in America as well, but it just seems as if so many Americans have too much time, too much money and too many comforts. We can be so self-centered and egotistical. It seems as if there is this mindset that we can come over and “help these 'poor' people” when really, I think we are the ones who need help. I think there is a lot we can learn from these people who have so much joy not based on materialism. I pray for these people here, but I also pray for us. I pray that we don't become blinded by the deceitfulness of wealth. That we don't forget what's truly important and that we can turn aside from trivial pursuits. I could be wrong on this, but I believe this is one of the reasons why Jesus calls us to go out and to take care of widows and orphans...because we are just as needy as the people we go to, maybe even more so just in different ways.I think maybe he wants us to see that so that His Kingdom and will is furthered in our own lives as well as the places we go.