The place I've come to love

The mountainous city of Addis Ababa stretches out before me. I sit in a gray airport chair, looking out the window and pondering the things that are now stored up in my heart. So often, even when I'm around people, I find myself simply staring out the window and thinking about all the things I have seen here. Although much of it has been hard, I pray I never forget the things I have experienced because it has changed me and I don't want my life to be spent pursuing selfish gain when there are so many people who need help, hope and love.

I think about Sunday afternoon following an amazing church service we attended- we had gone to the market to go shopping. From the moment we stepped out of our vans we were surrounded by street vendors trying to sell their goods, children trying to sell wooden toothbrushes and people asking for food. We had been told that the only way that they would leave us alone was to say no and walk away. As I crawled back into the van after looking in some of the booths, I couldn't even look at the children knocking on the windows because it hurt too much to see. As I sat there I felt so convicted...is this how Jesus would treat these hurting children? By saying no and walking past them? Somehow I don't think so. I honestly don't know the proper way to respond to the hordes of beggars, but the way I was treating them just didn't seem right. I next day I felt like God was laying one of these children on my heart so I took time to pray for that child and pray that I would know how to treat these people the way Jesus wants me to. Later that afternoon I had a small girl come up to me, putting her hands up to her mouth in a gesture of hunger. I didn't have my bag with me (which I feel made this a lot easier), so I said, “I'm sorry, I don't have anything to give you.” I crouched down and looked into her eyes and continued, “but I do have Jesus. Do you know Jesus?” I can't even explain how my heart cried when she looked at me and said no. Or how helpless I felt because I don't speak any Amharic and have no way to really communicate with her. I simply took her dirty little hand in my own and said, “Jesus loves you.” I may have said other things but I don't really remember any more. I don't know if I will every forget the smile that lit up her hungry little face as I looked back, waved and blew a kiss at her as we pulled away. The picture of this precious little girl standing on the dirty street among other beggars and vendors still makes me cry every time I think about her (which is quite a lot). I just pray that somehow that encounter will help her to know that she is loved. She is one of the reasons I want to come back someday...because she is just one of millions of children here that need to know that they are loved.

That same day we also went to help out at a feeding program. They marched us in and put us right to work. For awhile I folded and stacked ingera- a traditional Ethiopian spongy “bread” that is made out of sour milk and is used for scooping up food. I think it's pretty gross but they seem to like it. After that I went to the window and handed plates with ingera on it to the line of people coming through. Once they get their ingera someone gives them a scoop of sauce and beans and they sit to eat. Between the smell of the food and the odors it was hard to decide if it smelled good or just plain nasty in there. After seeing the spilled food and slop the latter was more accurate. Each day they feed 1,000 people, ranging from children to the elderly, in shifts of 100. Blind, crippled, sick and diseased people all came through the line for food. I tried to smile at them but most of them wouldn't look at you. When they finish eating they come, hand you their bowl and leave so the next group can get their food. If they hadn't finished all their food we dumped it into a bucket on the counter. At first I thought it was going to be thrown away or maybe fed to some animals....but I soon discovered I was wrong. People would come up with plastic bags held out for the slop to be scooped into so they would have something to eat later. I think this was one of the hardest things for me to see there; these people taking scraps of mushy leftover food that in the States we probably wouldn't even feed to our pet. It makes you think twice about saying, “I'm starving” or complaining about our food.

Our last full day in Ethiopia we went to an orphanage. When we first got there one little boy raced up to me and when I held out my arms he jumped into them, wrapped his little legs tightly around my waist, his arms around my neck and nuzzled his face against mine. I carried him around and he showed me things around the yard while still holding tightly to me. Eventually I put him down and sat down to talk to two girls who spoke very good English. One of them told me a little bit of her story and I found myself falling in love with her. When they had to go in for lunch I went upstairs to the baby room. There were many special needs kids. One girl had hydrocephalus and was blind. She is 9 but because she can't sit or really move she just lays in a crib in a room crowded with babies. At one point she began to cry. It was absolutely heartbreaking. We held held her hands and rubbed her head trying to calm her down but I can't even begin to imagine a life like that. Another little girl was missing both legs and one arm. Some of the them were incredibly tiny. There was one little tiny girl who was only 2 weeks old who had been found abandoned and brought to the orphanage. So many sad stories...but even more sad to think of the ones who don't make it to an orphanage. For a long time I held one little guy with huge eyes. It was supposed to be nap time but he was more interested in looking around, pulling my hair and playing. At one point I went to put him in his crib but as soon as I set him down he began to cry. I couldn't stand it so I picked him back up and held him until we had to leave. Even though it was hard to hear their stories, I'm glad these children are being taken care of. I couldn't think of a better way I would have liked to spend my last day in Africa, this place I have come to love, than playing with beautiful children, hearing their stories and holding babies. <3

My Ethiopian Experiences (so far...)

On Wednesday night we arrived in Ethiopia. It was hard for me to leave Uganda because I had fallen in love with the place and the people. Ethiopia is so incredibly different from Uganda that I felt like I was going through culture shock when we got here. While Uganda has warm sunshine, rich red soil and rolling lush green hills, Ethiopia has mountains and wet chilly weather (at least right now because it's their rainy season). The people look completely different and the poverty here is inescapable. I don't know if it's necessarily “poorer” here but the poverty just seems more raw and in your face.

Our first couple days here were spent in Korah, an area about 2 sq. miles right on the edge of the trash dump where 130,000 outcast and shunned people live. We were working alongside Project 61 which is a sponsorship program that rescues kids from the dump and sends them to school. The name comes from Isaiah 61, which if you get a chance you should read. Being there was very overwhelming. I saw, smelled and experienced things that made me feel physically sick at times.The children were dirty and covered in flies. I picked up one little girl and she was so skinny it hardly felt like she weighed anything in my arms. The children here constantly crowd around you begging and asking you for food, money, gum, toys, anything...it's sad and frustrating; frustrating because you look into their hungry little faces and it breaks your heart to say no, yet there are SO many of them and giving them things doesn't really help them...it just teaches them to beg. Being around these children, playing with them, “nursing” them (which for me consisted of neosporin and band-aids), and talking to them was pretty overwhelming and exhausting. 

While we were there we also worked alongside some of the Ethiopian men manually hauling boulders and demolishing an old decrepit building that was made of wooden poles and mud covered in some kind of plaster with a tarp roof. In one day we took the whole thing down so that they could build a new one in its place. I was filthy afterward and had dirt coming out of my nose, eyes and ears from all the dust but it felt really good to work hard and actually see a result at the end. There was also quite a bit of laughter as we worked with those men and tried to communicate. 

One day we went to a hospital right on the edge of Korah that was started 80 years ago for lepers to meet some of the ladies. It was hard to see them because I don't think I've ever seen a disease like this before. In all honesty, it was extremely hard for me to greet them, to touch them, to take their hands that were missing fingers in my own. But I kept thinking about Jesus, touching and healing the lepers in the Bible, and I realized that this is what being the hands of Jesus really looks like. 

In the afternoon we went to the trash dump. I have never seen or smelled anything quite like it. The stench was literally suffocating and vultures swarmed over the landfill... and to think that people live there; you can see the “shelters” and people rummaging among the trash,. It's mind-numbing. But despite all the overwhelming poverty and really hard things I've been experiencing and writing about lately, today I feel hope. It doesn't mean it's less painful to see, but I can feel hope because God is in that place. He has shown me that he's not just in the clean places or places that I deem beautiful, but he is right there amidst the poverty, mud, trash, disease and filth that is everywhere and he has a plan for his people there. There are many, many things that I don't understand and I probably never will...but that's ok because God doesn't ask me to. He doesn't ask me to figure out the world and solve all of its problems. He just asks me to trust him and his plan. He asks me to remain in him and obey him; to look after his people and share his love with others. He is sovereign, he is good and he is doing his work, even in the dump. I think little Jack (who is 9 years old) said it so well when he said that he thinks God wants us to see, smell and experience these things. I think he's right; I think God does want us to see these things so that our hearts may be broken for the things that break his and so that we are motivated to take action. We may be broken but God doesn't leave us broken. He wants to fill us back up with his love, peace, joy and hope so that we can go and share those things with others. The consequences of sin are big, but someday all of this will be gone, all the filth, the disease, the pain...there is hope, and it's our calling to follow God, faithfully sharing the hope of His gospel so that someday when all of this is gone as many of these people as possible are standing with me before His throne.

Visiting Orphans Part 2- Kampala and surrounding villages

After a long bus ride on a VERY crowded bus we got to Kampala around lunch time (on Sunday?) and went to Return Ministries. When we got there children crowded around the bus eager to see us. Return is situated in the slums of Kampala and ministers to the surrounding community. It is run by Pastor Samuel who has such a heart for these people and big visions for this ministry. At least once a week they provide a meal for community children and a safe place to be for a while. We helped feed the hungry children (over 100 of them) bowls of rice and beans. It was sad to see how skinny and hungry many of them were. After we fed them we played with them and held them. It's precious how they crowd around you, hug you and want to be held, but at the same time it breaks your heart because most of them don't get the attention they need at home. I picked up a little girl and started painting nails. Soon she was asleep in my lap and I had a big crowd of children (both boys and girls) who wanted their nails painted bright purple. I had my “assistant,” a sweet little girl named Sarah, hold the bottle of nail polish while I awkwardly tried to paint wiggling little finger nails with my one free hand. We sang, danced, played games and loved on the children for most of the afternoon. It was really good to see the guys in our group interacting with these children. They so desperately need good male role models in their life...even though we couldn't be there long, being picked up, held and played with by these loving, godly guys is so big.

The next day we went back to Return Ministries and went out into the community. We carried heavy sacks of beans and rice flour for many miles in the hot sun as we walked through the community going to houses to give families some food, talk to them and pray for them. I almost feel at a loss for words to describe the tiny houses crowded together, the dirt, the bugs, the listless malnourished children sitting outside, the smell...it's all kind of overwhelming. I just pray that God can expand the small effort we put out to help, that he will continue to use Return Ministries to shine a light in that place and bring people His hope.

Our last few days in Uganda were spent in an extremely rural village a couple hour bus ride from Kampala. How do I describe the 3 classes crammed into 1 small classroom or the hungry look on the childrens' faces as we served them posho (rice flour and water, basically like a drinkable porridge), or how do I describe the malaria outbreak that happened while we were there? It is just so different than anything in the states because people are getting sick and dying from things that either wouldn't happen or are easily and cheaply treatable back home. We worked in the clinic and school, did some construction and visited families in the community. We went to one house where both parents were gone and the older boy was taking care of a very small child who looked very sick. The next house we went to was the home of a Muslim family. We talked with them for a long time then they invited us into their house to pray for them in Jesus' name which was pretty amazing. When we went to leave the man got down on his knees in an expression of thanks (which is almost unheard of because normally only the women do that here). Before we left some of the children danced and sang for us which was amazing. If you haven't heard African children sing or seen them dance you truly are missing out on a piece of life!

The last day we were there we went to an even more remote village. It was a very spiritually dark place. They didn't even tell people we were coming because of all the witchcraft in the area...if they would have known they would have taken children and offered them as sacrifices to “protect” the area. You got the feeling that many of the children hadn't seen many white people. While we were there we all grabbed an old motor oil can and walked a very long way to a “well” to get water. It was a big murky, dirty hole where the cows drink. We filled the cans with filthy water and walked back to the village. I have never seen anything like it...at first it was kind of surprising that they were putting drinking water in old dirty oil cans but when you see the water you realize that's the least of the worries. I honestly couldn't imagine drinking the water but it's all they have. The children have school under the trees. Most of them don't have shoes. There's a “bunkhouse” for children who come a long way to go to school; it is a tiny dark room with a couple mattresses crowded on a dirt floor. We got to play with the children for awhile and when we went to leave some of them clung to my hands and arms not wanting us to leave. It was hard. It's hard to even describe the things I have seen and experienced and felt these past few weeks. I'm describing this poverty because it's real...and I can't just pretend that it doesn't exist. But before we left the children sang a song for us that talked about how although they are poor- no clean water, not enough food, lack of education etc, they are also rich in many things such as joy, faith, trust and love. I feel like this song helps describes many of the experiences I have had here. I have never seen poverty like I have in the past couple weeks, yet these people are so full of joy and love. I feel as if there are many things we can share with each other. We in the states have material wealth that we could easily share to help relieve these people by helping build wells and provide medicine that saves lives. Yet I think we have a lot to learn from these people about trust, joy not based on circumstances and so many of these concepts that they seem to understand in a deeper way than we may ever know. Many things to process and think on...

Visiting Orphans Part 1- Jinja

As I write this I am sitting on another airplane, leaving beautiful Uganda and heading for the unknown of Ethiopia. It was strange being at the Entebbe airport and thinking back on that day so many weeks ago when I first arrived. Everything felt so new and strange and I felt SO foreign then! But now it feels “comfortable” and familiar to me (I can even speak and understand some of the Luganda language!).

As I sit here and try to write about this past week words escape me...I don't know if I can even begin to describe the things I have seen and experienced but I will try. I tearfully left Rafiki and traveled to Jinja with Carolyn and 3 Rafiki children. Upon arriving we talked to multiple people and traveled numerous roads in a torrential downpour trying to find Canaan Children's Home. Finally we found it and I was left to talk to Papa Isaac and play with some of the children while I waited for the VO team to arrive. I played with two little guys who ran around chanting “that's ok, that's ok” and laughing and laughing after they heard me say it when they were too scared to go down a slide (I don't think they understood what it meant because they didn't speak much English)! When the team arrived one of them clung tightly to my neck and wouldn't let go as 30 mzungus poured off the bus. After being essentially by myself for so many weeks it was wonderful to be with a group of people. It is a great group of people that I am very blessed to serve with. We spent a couple days at Canaan ministering to the children there. These children are so different from the Rafiki children in their clean uniforms and orderly cottages. They are dirty and live crowded into bunkhouses with many other children. They bathe outside in the open then put on dirty clothes that smell of urine but they are so precious. They are starved for attention, which we gladly gave. At times my arms were shaking from lugging around children but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Every single day we were there I had a child curl up in my lap and fall asleep in my arms. One night I went and tucked a sleeping child into her bunk and it broke my heart to put her down, not sure when (if ever) another person would hold her until she went to sleep and tuck her in. It was hard leaving the children there but that is when you just have to trust that God was there before we got there, he cares about these children, has a plan for them and will continue His work after we leave.

On one of our days in Jinja some of us spent a couple hours at Sangolo Babies- a home with 15 babies run by a couple who care for these children and literally trust God every single day to provide for their day to day needs. When we stepped off the bus D met us with a baby in her arms asking, “who wants a baby?!” Everyone's arms went out and we went inside where she pretty much passed out babies until we each had one. The baby I had was named Grace. She was 18 months but literally looked maybe 6 or 7 because of malnutrition before she came to the home. Another baby had HIV and it was heartbreaking to see him lying sick in his bed. We held them until they fell asleep then put them down for their naps and talked to the couple. They are living in a tiny house with no running water and a leaky roof. When it rains there is one corner of the house where they all crowd to escape from the water, but despite their circumstances they have so much joy and trust in God. We brought them formula and diapers and when we gave it to them she started to cry because the day before it had rained so most of their cloth diapers had gotten wet and were still drying. Then she pointed to a small table where a tiny can of formula sat and said that was their last can of formula they had left. I realized there are so many things I take for granted (food, water, a toilet, a good roof over my head, etc) that other people work hard for and trust God for every single day. They are trying to move to another house that is bigger and has running water because the government doesn't approve of their current house. They also want a place where the babies can be outside because where they are now isn't fenced and children being taken for child sacrifices is common. The new house would cost about $250 a month which seems like nothing to many of us, but to them is far above what they make. 

I am still thinking on all of these things. I feel as if my body and mind have been completely overloaded and is in overdrive trying to process everything and figure out what I can do to help. I am going to post this while I have internet and try to post about our experiences in Kampala next.

Saying goodbye

I feel as if my heart is breaking. I have had the most wonderful last week here at Rafiki but it has been so bittersweet because I knew it was the end. Today I had to say goodbye to all the beautiful people and precious children that I have come to know and love over the past 5 weeks. There have been times that being here has been hard and times when I felt discouraged, but when I think back on it, it's hard to even remember those things because there were so many wonderful moments that shine so brightly in my memory.

 The beginning of this week started off with a tea party for some of the girls at Patti's house (she is one of the full-time missionaries here). It was definitely not a very “refined” party by any means, but it was so much fun. By the end the girls had probably consumed gallons of tea and platter after platter of sandwiches and biscuits (you would not believe how much these girls can eat!). We played games, showed pictures, got the girls telling stories, talked and laughed.

The next day I got to “play Maama” to some of the girls when their Maama had a dental emergency. As I walked to their cottage I was feeling a little nervous because it was a group of girls that I hadn't really connected with, but I prayed and God totally answered my prayers in ways beyond what I could have imagined. We had such a fun time playing games, putting together puzzles, telling stories, going for a walk, exploring their garden, playing volleyball until it started raining again then running for cover under the gazebo where we took pictures, sang songs and laughed hysterically. After lunch I tucked them in for their naps and waited for their Maama to come home. It was such a special bonding time and I will cherish those special memories for a long time.

On Wednesday we took a couple of the older girls into Kampala for a girl's day of shopping and errands. We were probably quite the sight: 2 mzungus and 3 teenage girls laughing and carrying on pretty much everywhere we went! I must say it was pretty entertaining to take these village girls to the city but so much fun! They “helped” me pick out gifts for people...some of which had to be vetoed (if I had listened to them my brother would be receiving a hideous spotted cow skin wallet lol).

My final day here was spent helping harvest mangoes, avocados, beans, banana leaves and matoke, adventuring through the bush for firewood with some of the girls (which seriously was kinda creepy because of bugs, snakes, thorns and how dark it is...but still fun!), trying some very strange fruits and berries (some were good and some were NOT! Fortunately I haven't gotten sick from them yet!), then going back to take care of the food we had collected. It was neat to see how they do these things in the village and there was much laughter involved. As we were headed to the bush one of the Maamas asked in a shocked tone, “you're going too?!” I think they were a little surprised at the things I'm willing to try. 

The whole day was so wonderful as I was able to adventure and experience, hold and play with children and just spend time being with and learning from these people that I love. I will miss them so very much. I will miss the cottage 12 boys clamoring to hold my hand, carry my bag and tell me stories. I will miss playing games, answering questions about why “my eyes are so blue and how my skin got to be apricot colored” and laughing with my cottage 9 boys. I will miss playing volleyball and going “adventuring” with my cottage 3 girls. I will miss the hugs and sweet way the cottage 2 girls come to say hello to me and sit near me. I will miss everything about cottage 4: their Maama, the many afternoons spent weaving, playing games, singing songs, telling stories, walking, laughing, taking pictures and just being together. I have come to love this place and these people. I will miss it here so much, but I am incredibly thankful for the time I had here and the many things I learned. I am truly blessed. Although it's sad to leave, I know that God has other things to teach me and I am excited to meet up with the Visiting Orphans team, see more of Africa and see what the next couple weeks hold.

The School Holiday

Wow, it is hard to believe that I have already been here over a month. In some ways the time has flown by, yet at the same time so much has happened it almost feels as if I have been here forever! This week one of the special holiday activities we did for the younger kids was giving them a 200 shilling coin (about/less than 10 cents) and taking them to Kavumba- maybe a 20 minute walk with the children- to buy a sweetie. On the first day I took a group of really little boys (4 and 6 year olds). Gideon, who is a veeeery slow walker, wasn't sure at first about making the short trek but the prospect of getting a candy was motivating so off we went. Little Peter said, “I am going to take teacher and quarta (hold) her hand.” And he did just that without letting go the whole time except to buy and eat his sweetie, so cute! When we got there one of the boys went up to the stand and said, “I would like soda.” I tried explaining that you couldn't get soda with a coin and he was very perturbed because he wanted to try soda! He had to settle for a “bisquit” instead. Later when asked what he got he just said, “a coin.” And if you asked what he got with the coin he would say “nothing” at first and finally consent that he had “one bisquit” (even though it was actually 4 in 1 package!). When we were almost back to the Rafiki village Gideon ran up, grabbed my free hand and said, “I made it! Now I'm going to go 9 more times!” 

M. Martha, Benon, Jereome, Gideon, Timothy, Joshua, Peter, Isaac & Simon

 <--This was taken a couple weeks ago after the May birthday party but these are the first boys I took to Kavumba when their Maama was on holiday.

--> Really not a great picture but this is Isaac (back), Joshua (middle) and Peter (right). 

 The next day I took a group of girls to Kavumba. They all put on matching caps that had been given to them by a sponsor and when we got back it turned into a game of “who is under the hat?” You could barely see their little faces under their hats so I would feel the top of their head and of course ask if it was 2 or 3 of the other girls until I “guessed” the right one. They thought this was hilarious and soon they were crowded around laughing and shrieking, “guess me next!” They would look up, say “guess me!” then pull their hat over their face for me to try and “guess” who it was. These kids seriously crack me up all the time! The other morning I was reading to some of the 4 year olds and I kept coming across books that had seagulls in them. Every time I said “seagull” Joshua would pipe up and say, “No-o. Teacher it is not seagull.” Then he'd shake his little head and continue in all seriousness, “it is eagle!” No matter how many times I tried to explain that they are two different birds he would still shake his head every time I read seagull and inform me that I was saying it wrong! So funny!

<3 These are some of my precious "hat" girls. <3

Last night I was “playing” volleyball with a few of the younger girls here. I showed Mercy how to pass and serve (for being 4 years old she was surprisingly good!). I would throw the ball, she would swing with all she was worth then just burst into a fit of shrieks and laughter. Every time she hit the ball she would jump up and down, grab my hands, hug me and scream. The ball didn't go over the net much with these small girls but it was much better than playing a real game! At one point I look over and Mercy has a little rubber ball that she is trying to practice serving with. She would hold it with one hand, get ready, then swing so hard that her little feet would shoot out from under her and she would fall over sideways! It was hilarious to watch.

Playing Volleyball

We also had a “pajama party” for some of the girls in the volleyball picture. I'm still tired from it! Haha It was so much fun though to see the girls dance, sing, laugh, eat and play charades. I am continually blessed by these people and their joyful attitudes. Some of the people here have been teaching me how to speak some Luganda. When I greeted my friend the other day in Luganda she gave me one of the hugest hugs I've ever received because she was so touched that I was learning their language. This is what kind of attitude they have- they are so grateful for a small thing like someone “trying” to learn their language. The longer I'm here the more I see that it's not about “fixing” or even really “helping” people as much as coming along side them, learning from and with them, experiencing life with them and loving them. I am so thankful for the amazing experience of being in this place with these wonderful people.

Just a few pictures from my week...

 This past week we worked on a special holiday project with P6- making a newspaper! It was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun as we showed the children how to use a computer and type their work. It was so new to them but they loved it and did very well.

Here is one of the taxis that takes the children to church on Sunday. This morning I crowded into a taxi with 22 little boys and headed to church in Wakiso! I loved the running commentary that Moses gave me along the way. "Look, look there's a pig! Now we're going up, and now we're going down. Did you see that baby farmer? I didn't know such little boys could watch cows, did you?!!" :)

This is inside the church where we worshiped this morning. The floor is uneven dirt and rocks. It's big but there are no windows or doors and not enough chairs so people crowd onto these rickety benches that feel as if they may be about to fall apart (but this is considered very nice compared to many churches here). As I worshiped with these people and witnessed the love they have for the Lord, it was a very good reminder to me that the church is not a building but the people and that being "rich" is not defined by material possessions.

Home

How do I begin to describe this past week? In my last post I was sad that school was over and I have to admit that I really had no idea what I would be doing over the school holiday here. But I shouldn't have worried! It has been a very busy and blessed week. As much as I absolutely love it here, this past week I did have some days of feeling homesick. Days when I saw pictures of the cute baby moose and freshly green trees against the snowy mountains in Alaska and I could just feel it, that feel of being “home.” There have been days when I miss the people at home so very much that my heart longs to be with them. There are days I wish I wasn't here “alone,” that I hadn't packed my suitcase and headed off to a third world country all by myself. The other day as I was getting ready for bed I “might” have found myself literally talking out loud to the gecko in my bathroom!

But even though I have had those days, I wouldn't trade my time here and the experiences for anything. Being here isn't always fun and it's certainly not always glamorous. It's not ALL just loving on, teaching and playing with children! There are days when some of the tasks that need doing are dirty and tedious, maybe even boring. But I've come to see that so often it is in these simple day to day tasks that God teaches us the most and reveals himself in new ways. I'm thankful for the things that He is teaching me about serving and having a good attitude. I'm thankful for the times when I'm by myself in my cottage, through which I have been encouraged to seek out God more than the company of others.

As I think back on this busy week, despite having some of “those days,” I still see so many blessings. I hear the children laughing, singing and talking. I feel those precious hands in mine and their little arms around me. I hear an African Maama, who has become such a wonderful friend to me, say, “we missed you so much today” when I wasn't able to go visit them one afternoon. I watch kids' faces light up as I teach them how to type. I laugh as I supervise a group of 4^thgraders watching a movie at the school (you wouldn't believe the gasps, screams, laughs, finger pointing, talking and entertainment they provide!). I listen as a woman shares her story with me. I want to cry as I help clean the wounds of a beautiful little girl who is covered in open sores all over her body and has lost the use of her leg due to injections given badly and infection caused by her living conditions- and this is just one of many stories here. There have been heartbreaking moments and moments of hysterical laughter all pieced together into a collage of experiences that are difficult to even explain. I have been able to read to children, teach some of the boys how to play chess, teach/play volleyball with some of the girls, spend the afternoons weaving with a cottage of girls and their Maama, who I adore more and more every day, and I fall in love as I interact with these people. I feel blessed beyond belief to be here... and it is these things that make the hard days and homesick days completely and totally worth it. So I thank God for every single moment I have here, because I know that when I am back home in Alaska, I will feel homesick for this place and ache for these people in the same way that I miss home.

A week of experiences

This morning I woke up to the sound of birds singing outside my window. For a moment I just lay there and listened, enjoying the security of my mosquito-netted bad after a long week. So much has happened this past week that it all feels like a whirlwind in my mind. Most of the week was very good, and even though this past week I did have one of my hardest days since being here, I have so much peace knowing this is right where I'm supposed to be...and somehow I seem to fall more and more in love with these people every day.

This week was the last week of school for the children before a 3 week holiday (I leave Rafiki right before they start school again). I have to admit, I was so sad on the last day of school! I have loved being with the children all day, teaching, reading aloud, helping with PE and doing whatever else. I feel like I learned so much and was able to put a lot of what I have been learning at University the past couple years into practice here. Although at first it was hard for me to assume a “firm authority figure” instead of just hugging and loving on children all the time, I know now that it was so much more beneficial for everyone involved. One of my highlights has definitely been PE. These children have a way of playing normal games we play in America with so much joy and enthusiasm that you can't help but get excited with them and laugh a lot! One day I played dodge ball with P1 and P2. Watching them scream, jump up and down, and clap their hands every time they hit their target was so cute and funny!

      Celebrating our victory! (if you can see some of them are in the air leaping for joy!)

I have also been so blessed by some of the relationships I was able to build with a few of the teachers here. There were days we would laugh so hard at something the children had said or done that we could barely stand! On the last day of school I was walking with two of them after sending the children off; we were sharing stories, and laughing at my attempts to speak Luganda. We don't always perfectly understand each other (although they speak English we have some very different ways of saying things!), but it has been very special. I will miss them.

I feel as if every time I start getting “comfortable” here and into a routine, God mixes it up. Even though I was feeling pretty sad when school got done (goodness, what kind of crazy person feels sad it's the holidays?!) I know that God has other things to teach me and I look forward to seeing what lies ahead.

Yesterday morning I went up to the gardens to help (which might have turned into play). Some of the younger boys were sitting on a mat in the shade of a large tree. When I asked them what they were doing they said, “Teacher, we are preaching the word of God, and we are pretending that these big leaves are our Bibles.” One of them ran and got me a leaf telling me that it could be my Bible and I could listen. They then proceeded to preach the Word and tell Bible story after Bible story, all from memory! I was totally amazed and humbled by these precious little boys. We spent the whole morning telling lots of stories, singing, playing games, reading books, looking at pictures, talking and laughing. It was so incredibly special. They told me they were going to start praying that I will come back to their village to teach after I'm done studying in Alaska. It was very sweet.

                       My sweet boys being boys and making faces at the camera! :)

In the afternoon while the children were resting I worked on some projects around the school then I went for a walk. On my way back to my cottage I stopped by the construction site because I wanted to see them make bricks. They let me watch, then showed me how and asked if I wanted to try. It was very hot, hard work but there was lots of laughter and I enjoyed “helping” them make a few bricks! :)

Here I am making bricks...

 It takes two people to make the bricks. One to shovel in the dirt and push over the lever, then the other one pulls down the lever to compact the brick, takes it out and stacks it. They let me try both jobs...here they were laughing at me because he had to finish pulling the lever down to compact the brick all the way!

 These are just a few of my experiences that I have had. Since coming here there have been so many that it's hard to know how to share them all...but in an effort to keep this from becoming even more ridiculously long, I am going to end here for now. Oh, and have I mentioned that I love it here?!!

Hello Mzungu!

This morning I went into Kampala with Carolyn, who is one of the ROS full-time staff here, to take three children (Gift-5, Peace-4 and Raymond-1) to get immunizations or “impezos” as they say in Luganda. Since there were no parking spaces close by the hospital when we got there I took the children inside while Carolyn went to park quite a ways away. When I got inside I was surprised by the total lack of privacy in the hospital. I took the children to sit on a bench in this long crowded hallway where you could see sick people lying in their rooms along the hall. It was really quite sad. While we waited for Carolyn I was the only white person in sight and had these three beautiful black children clustered around me, holding my hands and sitting on my lap, which I guess was much more interesting to watch than anything else in the hall because people couldn't stop staring at us. We ended up waiting for a good two hours before they gave them their shots, even though “appointments” had been made in advance. They brought us into this big open waiting room crowded with mothers and their children. They have the child sit down by the desk at the front of the room and give them their shots right there. Before the girls could get theirs they had to watch another crying little boy get his shots. I felt so bad for them. Little Peace bravely went and sat in Carolyn's lap, still as could be, but as soon as she felt her shot she broke into heartbreaking tears. I held and comforted her while poor Gift, who was already crying at this point, had to go get hers. I felt like crying myself!! Finally baby Raymond got his. He sat there happy as could be until the nurse stuck him, then he started bawling as well. When we went to put his shirt back on him he kept waving his arm and pointing at it like he was trying to say, “Um hello? Did you not just see what they did to me?!” We took the three teary eyed children to get them juice and biscuits. By the time we left I was covered in crumbs from Raymond and juice from Gift's juice box that she seemed to find great delight in squeezing rather than drinking. Between the hospital, myself being so white and three children it was quite the experience!

In the afternoon, after dropping off the children, eating some lunch and doing some work around here, I ended up going into Wakiso with Patti. We dropped some school papers off to get photocopied where the owner kept hugging me and telling me how welcome I was. While we waited for the copies we walked down to the market to buy some fruit. It was dirty and smelly and honestly kind of gross. Piles of trash littered the ground, bugs swarmed over the food and there were big piles of whole dried fish to sell, which didn't help the smell any. When we stopped, this group of children seemed to materialize out of nowhere. They crowded around me peering at me with big eyes, smiling, some playing peek-a-boo and waving their little hands at me. They were so cute. I just wanted to scoop them all up and take them home with me! On our way back to our village we took a different route that took us along this road where there were hardly any cars and definitely no white people. All along the way children kept running out waving, smiling and shouting “hello mzungu!” (That is what they call white people here). 

In the evening after dinner I went for a walk around the village with Maama Anna and her 10 girls. They showed me plants they eat and things they are good for. We laughed and shared stories about our homes. I love those special moments. I don't have time to write anymore right now but at some point this weekend I will write more about this past week and try to put up some pictures. 

Like tears from the sky

It is a rainy Sunday afternoon and the power is out (you never know when there will be power here). The children are resting in their cottages. I am sitting in my cottage drinking Ugandan tea, listening to avocados thump against the roof (!) and looking out at branches dancing in the wind and rain. This morning I rode to church with some of the girls in a taxi- a blue and white checked van that can “fit 12” but normally carries more. The trip takes about 45 minutes one way. On the way back as the van sloshed through rivers of water and red mud, I contemplated life here as I observed people huddling under trees, buildings and whatever shelter they could find from the fat raindrops falling like tears from the sky.

As much as I love it here, it is also very hard. Although I do wake up every morning so happy to be here, some mornings I wake up and feel like crying. There are many reasons: Little Timo who cries over everything and you wonder what has happened in his young life to make him so sensitive. People who are dirt poor and literally have nothing, living next to some that have more than they could ever need, mostly due to corruption and bribery. Little children being taken on their way to school to be used as sacrifices. Sitting in on a social studies lesson where 1^st graders are taught, out of necessity, things that are so much more explicit than anything we would ever tell a 6 year old in America. Listening to children's answers as to how they should protect themselves from “bad people.” Seeing little kids playing naked outside their homes, which is cute, but at the same time heart breaking because many of them have nothing more than rags to wear. Knowing that many families can't even afford a simple barrel to collect rain, so young children and girls have to carry heavy “Jerry cans” long distances filled with water that probably isn't even very clean. It is a place where the idea of a nuclear family is basically unheard of. A place where reading a book is considered the ultimate laziness and you might as well be doing nothing. A place where going to the gym to get exercise and “burn off calories” is absurd because most of these people are working themselves to the bone just trying to get enough calories to survive.

As I see and experience and think about all of this it breaks my heart. Yes, it breaks my heart because it's a sad situation and there are many hurting people. But so many of these people are gracious, welcoming, friendly and generous with what little they have. So it also breaks my heart because of how backwards and twisted we seem to have it in America. We seem to think so often that life is all about our comforts and our “needs.” That it's about how we look and what we wear, what kind of car we drive and how big our house is, what kind of job we have and whether is has good benefits or not. So many of the things that seem important are unheard of here where people don't even have food or clothes, let alone a fancy house or car and they definitely don't have jobs with “benefits.” I may have joked about being a “poor college student” at times, yet I have a closet filled with clothes and shoes...and somehow in my sin filled heart I can still covet and want more. It's kind of sickening. Being here really does change your perspective.

I know that sin and selfishness is everywhere in the world,and that there are great needs in America as well, but it just seems as if so many Americans have too much time, too much money and too many comforts. We can be so self-centered and egotistical. It seems as if there is this mindset that we can come over and “help these 'poor' people” when really, I think we are the ones who need help. I think there is a lot we can learn from these people who have so much joy not based on materialism. I pray for these people here, but I also pray for us. I pray that we don't become blinded by the deceitfulness of wealth. That we don't forget what's truly important and that we can turn aside from trivial pursuits. I could be wrong on this, but I believe this is one of the reasons why Jesus calls us to go out and to take care of widows and orphans...because we are just as needy as the people we go to, maybe even more so just in different ways.I think maybe he wants us to see that so that His Kingdom and will is furthered in our own lives as well as the places we go.

"Teacher, Teacher"

I have been in this beautiful country for a whole week now- almost hard to believe! I don't know if I can even begin to describe how much I love it here. It seems as if every day just gets better and better. Almost every morning I wake up and think, “Wow, I'm actually in Africa. Thank you God!!”

It is very different from what I imagined (the school I'm working at is extremely rigid and strict...I have a hard time being so firm with these adorable children!) But I trust that this is right where God wants me and that he has a plan bigger and better than my own.

I spend my mornings in pre-primary (4's and Kindergarten) and the afternoon in primary school, mostly in P1 (1^st grade). I absolutely adore these children. They are precious and just warm your heart. The other day we were reading a Bible story about people going to see Jesus. Little Peter piped up and said, “I want to see Jesus.” SO precious! When I am in the school the students call me Teacher. I love the sound of their high sing-songy voices calling “teacher, teacher” when they want to tell me something or get my attention to show me something. I love the smiles that light up their face when you look at their work and say, “good job!” Outside the school many of them call me aunty. They will call out, “Hello Aunty Chelsea.” To which I reply “Hello! How are you?” And they will sing back, “I am fine. How are you?”

Yesterday I was with the 4 year olds helping a little boy tie his shoe when he reached out and felt my hair, running his little brown fingers through my smooth blonde hair as I bent over his shoes. When I finished and looked up his eyes were big with wonder. I smiled and said, “it feels different doesn't it?” Then I reached out and felt his short dark hair which made him laugh. I love their laughs, their big bright smiles, their beautiful voices, their precious little hands holding mine. It's hard to even explain, but they fill your heart with joy and break it at the same time.

In the evening I eat dinner with a family (at Rafiki they take in orphans then put them in a cottage with other children their gender/age and an African mamma so that they have a family). After dinner I go and read to the kids before bed. I brought some Alaska picture books with me to show them. It is so much fun to show them pictures and tell them stories about snow, bears, moose, the Northern Lights and the ocean. I love sharing these things from my world with them as I experience theirs. After seeing a picture of a moose one little boy looked shocked and said, “they have very bad horns!”

I feel as if every single day I am learning, experiencing or seeing something new. Today some of the girls showed me how to weave using palm fronds...they are so good at it and I am so bad! But it was fun to sit and learn and talk with them. When it started thundering I headed back to my cottage. Along the way I stopped to talk to a family (IF I had favorites, these boys and their mamma would be it!). They looked at my weaving and started telling me about their garden when Mamma Florence said, “But Aunty, you should hurry. You can't beat the rain.” I started running but she was right. It rains harder and faster here than I have ever seen in my entire life! By the time I got back to my cottage about 2 minutes later I was already soaked. I am amazed at how warm and sunny it can be one minute and literally a minute later the sky is dumping down buckets of water. But now the rain has stopped and the laughing voices of children playing beckon me back outdoors to enjoy every moment I have in this beautiful country with these beautiful people.

Jet Laaaaag....

I am incredibly jet lagged, but I am here and so happy to be here. My trip over was extremely long (48+ hours, not including the time change) but actually surprisingly good. I ended up having a row to myself for most/some of my 14 hour flight from Seattle to Dubai which made it so much better. I laid down for a little bit and tried to sleep until a little elderly Indian lady came and asked if she could sit with me. I have to admit that at first the selfish part of me didn't really want to share my “luxury row” but when I saw where she was sitting, in the middle with a crying child on one side, I was happy that I could share with her and glad she was able to sleep. The airline had given us these little toiletry kits at the beginning of the flight and at one point I look over and she's going through mine asking if she can use the stuff in it...I just laughed and said sure... why not?! She then proceeds to lay down in the middle seat with her head pretty much in my lap. I didn't really know what to do so I asked her if she would like a pillow. All in all, I have to admit the whole situation was a little awkward, but it makes me laugh thinking about it now.

After a 14 ½ hour layover in Dubai I got on a plane to Entebbe, Uganda. It was a couple hour drive from the airport to the Rafiki Village where I am staying. I wish I could describe the African driving. Never again will I think the structured driving in America where people mostly follow the rules is crazy. There is no such thing as “lane lines” here, well at least not by American driving standards. The pot hole filled, rutted clay roads just kind of swarm with cars, trucks, bikes, bodas, people and animals. There is constant honking as people go where they want. If someone wants to get in front of you they will just pull up and start pulling in front of you, then they will stick their hand out the window and motion for you to slow down. If my mother thinks the roundabouts in Anchorage are crazy, then she should never drive in Uganda! It all seems chaotic and crazy but I love it. The whole way exhaustion kept forcing my eyelids shut but wonder and excitement kept popping them back open. I couldn't help but want to take it all in. There are lots of soldiers and police with huge guns, which in a way I find comforting. The people are friendly and welcoming. The air is warm and humid. Lush green trees make a sharp contrast with the red clay dirt. I suppose there are parts and things that are dirty, smelly and chaotic compared to sanitized America, but it's beautiful and wonderful and I don't think you can help but fall in love with it here. I am exhausted but I am so happy to be here and can't wait to see what lies ahead. :)

Blessed

I am overwhelmingly and abundantly blessed. I am in awe of how God provides and amazed at how he cares about the details of our lives. John 1:16 says, "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." I feel like this has been so true in my life. I have the most wonderful and amazing family that has filled me up full to the brim with love...then loved me enough to let me go so that I can pursue the call I feel God has placed on my heart: to share this love with others in Africa. I have the most amazing church, family and friends who have loved me, supported me and encouraged me as I prepare to leave.

I feel as if God just continues to pour out blessing after blessing in my life. It leaves me humbled, overwhelmed and amazed because I know there is nothing I have done to deserve this. First of all he called me to this amazing opportunity to go to Africa (which I have dreamed of for years), then I was able to watch as he orchestrated details that were completely out of my own control, and now he has shown his provision in amazing ways. I still feel as if I am in shock and awe over today as I write this! This morning my home church, Glacierview Bible Church, blessed me with prayers and a send-off during the service. After the service people overwhelmed me with generosity and gave me money for my trip...at the end of the day I had been given exactly TO THE DOLLAR what I still owe Visiting Orphans (and it was even an unusual random amount of money!). This was such a wonderful reminder and confirmation that God cares about these things and that this is where he wants me this summer. I don't even understand it all, and while I'm on this earth I probably never will, but I do know that God is good. Some days it may not feel like it and there are days that I do not seem to see it, but on days like today I feel as if God pulls back a curtain and allows me to catch a glimpse of how good he is and how great his love is for us. I am extremely grateful and couldn't have asked for better people surrounding me in life.

I go

It is so crazy to think that in two Sundays I will be IN AFRICA! It almost boggles my mind to think about, seriously! It’s amazing to think back months ago to when I was planning and buying my ticket…and now it’s almost here. WOW. This morning I was very blessed. FCC had a send-off for Emily, Justin and I. It is very encouraging to go knowing that I am backed by so much prayer and such a supportive family. 

Many people have asked me why I am going to Africa this summer. The “simple” and “obvious” reason is that I am going to Africa to work in a village, tutor students and love on/play with orphans. And yes, I am going for those reasons. I am incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and adventure set out before me. Yet as I sat in church today I realized that the reasons I am going are so much deeper than that. 

I am going to Africa because I have the amazing opportunity to serve my Lord through loving his people in Africa. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” I want to do more than just read those words, I want to live them. Even though sometimes I’m slightly terrified at the thought, I am so incredibly blessed and overwhelmed that God has called me do this and given me this amazing opportunity. 

I feel like I do so many things for myself, for my own comfort and happiness. And quite honestly, I’m tired of it. I guess I see this as an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and do something for others and for God. I know that I can and should and will serve him right here, in Anchorage, AK. Yet, there’s this part of me that longs for more and feels like I can do more than what I’ve been doing. I go because I want to obey. I guess I also partly go out of selfish reasons. I go because I want to be changed. I want to be touched and blessed by these people. I go because I want to step deeper into the Abundant Life that God offers to us like we heard about in church today. I don’t want to live a shallow life. I don’t want to settle for a life wrapped up in my own comfort and happiness, which is so much easier said than done. I don’t want to simply read God’s word and go to church, hearing the Word and thinking “wow, that was touching and/or motivating” then walk away and not do anything about it (which sadly I feel Christians do so often…I know I do). I go because I want to LIVE the Word of God. I go because Jesus is my Savior, he is worthy and because of that He deserves my ALL and this is where I feel he is calling me. I go because this is my passion and my gift and I want to use it for the Lord. I want to see and experience faith in a way I’ve never experienced before. Even though there are times that the “American Dream” sure sounds nice (who wouldn’t want a big house, nice car, great job with benefits, etc…and I don’t necessarily think those things are wrong in and of themselves) but I want to be changed in a way that makes it impossible for me to ignore God’s commands, impossible to ignore God’s hurting children, and impossible to live a life solely for my own comforts. I know there’s more to life than that, and I want more. And so despite the insecurities and fears and unknowns, I go.